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The wonderful world of the letter X — LiveJournal
Well this is the week... the big one!!

Yup originally attempted around September last year and failed... its now back and its going to be one of the pin points of my life for quite a while. Its not every day that people get chance to organise a special "invite only" exhibition of something that you love to do. The added extra to this exhibition is that i'll have friends, family and aquaintances from the past 5 year or more! Infact the confirmed count of people going is 60+ with another possible 10. I can't believe i even know 70 people lol!

As the day tick down to the 25th i'm getting more and more nervous, so many things are starting to plague my mind as i sleep. "Will people like my Photos?", "Will all my friends get on with each other?", "Will i actually raise ANY money for charity?" to name a few things... But i've been told by several people to relax and things will go ok. Which is NOT easy since there are so many factors which could go wrong. Not to mention a speech i have to do before unleashing the horde onto my photos :P The ammusing thing is, if i do collapse due to a panic attack or whatever atleast there will be plenty of medical staff to deal with the situation XD

I'll be pleased when the day is finally over and i can say to myself "I've made it!" meaning that i can say with ease i've achieved something pretty substantial... much more than other who won't be named. The problem is what will my next goal be in life? Find a girl and settle down? Very unlikely to happen to me... seems i've been bread for the single life... but i don't care that means i can wave my singleness around at everyone :P

But seriously though... i really don't know what i want to do. Maybe make my website really fancy and professional looking ^_^ I guess i'll need to talk to my friends and compile a "100 things to do" list of some sort.

Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
Current Music: Queen - Headlong

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Following in the tradition of stealing other peoples Meme's i shall oblige with my Desktop ^_^

1. Take a screen shot of your desktop (with any windows you currently have open minimized) and save this as an image.
2. Upload the image to your journal under an LJ-cut
3. Answer any questions from your flist- be they on your background, your desktop links, or one of the minimized windows. Answer honestly!
4. Tag as many friends as you like. Those who ask questions must repost this into their own journal.

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Black Stobe - I'm A Man

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Right this is just a short LJ entry to let you all know that i shall be dissapearing off to Wales until the 21st of March. So if you need me then just send me a text, if you don't need me then just send me a text =p

I should hopefully come back with many a photo and some footage for me to put together for a film... hopefully...

See you all soon =)

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: busy busy
Current Music: Wax - Bridge To Your Heart

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Well i just thought i'd update you all with a new LJ entry... not that i have anything "out of this world" to update you with...

Well the past week has been mostly uneventful. I've been talking to xhannay almost every afternoon which has been good fun, but that'll come to an abrupt end shortly since she'll be back at work Full time. skiesfirepaved has been busy with Rob over the weekend, her mum going into hospital and Josh being ill. So i've not had much contact from her... This thing on Monday with pinkkatie86 is still up in the air and things are still undecided....

On other news i managed to go into Peterborough and me up with Charlie (the one who stood me up that time) and her friend. I had a good time which I guess makes up for the time before. We just generally hung around Peterborough, went to BHS for some lunch and spent about 2 1/2 hours laying on the grass just outside the cathedral.

I dunno what it is recently but the subject of Sex and Verginity has KEPT springing up no matter where i go. Charlie and her friend brought it up yesterday and also its a subject thats been brought up on BR. Usually it doesn't bother me that much but just lately it has really been eating away at me... especially after finding out more and more people i know have had it in one form or another... but oh well i guess its just another of the miserable phase where i feel sorry for myself =(

Also today i've been helping my famly take down my dads arials from the side of the house... i surved my purpose for about an hour then i lost my use as everyone else was doing things... oh i feel so loved at this moment 0_o

Thats about it... till next time

Current Music: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

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Well it's 5pm and i thought i'd just update my LJ since i've not done it for a while...

    I've been somewhat half and half this week. I went into hospital this thurs for my 2 monthly checkup and all turned out well, and i've been booked for a routein Chest Scan next time (which will be the 31st May). Also went up to see my Nan who has been hospital for the past few week due to alot of "Supposid" mental problems... which is not the case now as we've found out <_< but i won't go into that since its long and boring...

    My arm has been a pain in the arse... its been aching like fuck! But it goes through phases... one minute it isn't so bad and then in the evening it almost feels like a knife in my muscle >.< I've come to the conclusion that it could be RSI in my upper arm... i just need a new arm i guess... and whilst im at it i may aswell have a new body... this one is almost totally nackered, and i'm only 20 0_o

    Also the server were my website (and alot of my photos) is hosted is currently down due to some bastard uploading a virus into it. So that'll be down for a good while... so if anyone is curious, THAT is why my site doesn't work.

Otherwise i don't really have anything that positive to say about anything... just the excitement of hospital and my arm pain to inform you about... hopefully some people will be on this evening to talk to... may cheer me up a bit.

BTW one last thing for skiesfirepaved 3 edited photos for your use... I did them several days ago but you've not been online for me to point you to them... so better late then never.

Gifts For Sari

Current Mood: blank blank
Current Music: Tina Turner - Golden Eye

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Well i have to say that i'm a bit more cheerful tonight. My Arm doesn't hurt, My jaw doesn't ache as much and my friends all seem to be in a good mood =)

    I've not really done alot recently, however i did take a few photos (4) of my back garden just to keep myself in the flow of taking photos. I really need to get out more or organise something to do... Being stuck at home is now starting to drive me crazy i think. It's only thanks to the Pub nights that we have now and then that it keeps me somewhat sane.

Warning: Waffle Alert

    Also i have come the conclusion that i have achived a state of contentment with my friendships now, which makes a bloody change since i've spent my whole life trying to achive that 0_o
    During the start of this year i spent time pulling out all the loose threads that have been making my life "tapesty" look shitty. And i believe all the friendships i now have are all strong and will last (hopefully) for a VERY long time. Even though i may not have alot in common with people i know, i still feel we have a connection and respect for one another to a point in which no-one can break that. That's why when one of them is feeling shitty and/or miserable i tend to do the same and feel like crap until they get over it.
    Maybe this is down to me being at home too much but i hope that its more than that. All i can say is that i hope this web of friendships doesn't collapse like my first on i had, cause i think that would then be the end of me =( But i have a feeling it won't.

Right thats me done now i guess...

Like to Mention the following people (cause im cool like that =p): skiesfirepaved pinkkatie86 over_my_head_x Rob, Ash, Xhan, Steph and Kayla

Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: Bon Jovi - Wanted Dead Or Alive

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In case you can't tell, im bored =( Very little is going on atm and all i have to look forward this week is going into Huntingdon with my siblings to do some last minute "mothers day" stuff... Even then im not looking forward to going into huntingdon, due to the fact that its a shithole, if it was Peterborough i wouldn't mind so much.

In other news my forum has now got 11 members =D Of which all but Me, Rob and Rawlo are female... so i can't be that bad with opposite sex can i =p Mind you most of them are taken anyway XD On the same topic i've posted up some new screenshots for my Pokemon RPG remake and i've posted up all of theskiesfirepaved photoshoot (including a few newly edited shots that i've not shown publically).


I really need to organise some more photoshoots, but it all boils down to time and the fact that most people arn't available. pinkkatie86 is ready and willing, so i'll probably book something during the week for her. Fee has college and she's said she doesn't want to do any shots on her own, so i'll have to do it with Sari... which is hard since she's at the Peterborough Spring Show this weekend, babysitting the next weekend and already going to do a photoshoot the last week in the month... Ahhh its all so complex >.<

Right, so if i've got this correct the following dates are Booked and Free:

15th - 27th - Possible Ferry Medows Shoot with Katie (Further Confirmation needed)
31st or 1st - Possible Hinchenbrooke Shoot with Sari and Bex (Futher Confirmation needed)

Anyone want to book something else just chat to me... pleeeeease =p

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Queen - Under Pressure

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Well the past 7 days has been one strange ride...

First was my Centre Parks Trip which was great =) Dispite the fact that i felt a bit low when the disco started, so i went back the challét on my own and just watched Nevermind the Buzzcocks, which was bloody funny XD Also had a quick phone conversation with my brother just to cheer myself up... The Rest of the trip was superb, I thrashed everyone at bowling (2nd year running =p) and even enjoyed the conferance itself this year, they seemed to of pulled out all the stops to make it all interesting =)
    Even though i personally didn't go swimming i still had fun around the place, playing pool, going to the pancake house and various other stuff. Also i was in control of the camcorder most of the trip so once they post up the dirary most that footage will be thanks to me =D I even did a small interview which im not looking forward to seeing XD
    Whilst on the subject of Video Diaries, there was one girl from our group who was there as part of the film crew and just so happened to be filming a small documentary for BBC Look East, with scenes of the whole event INCLUDING footage from the East Anglia group... which included me =D So i was on TV for 15 seconds last night XD Which was such a bloody shock, but great to see ^_^

As i came back i was greeted with several issues that had arisen over the time i was away <_< All this was down to Chris relaying inaccurate information, that was posted on my forum, to Debs and as a result making me looking like a complete arsehole. But i've made my feelings know to him and how him trying to incriminat me will not be tollerated... but thats the end of that. All has been delt with and hopefully things will be left at that... like i did back in my past LJ entry <_<

On some more positive notes... I have now taken the first steps into creating my own Photography business =D I bought a web URL, and have finished the forum to a point in which others can now use it with no problems =)


I've not done alot to the site yet as im still creating it as we speak =p But its a step in the right direction ^_^

Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
Current Music: AC/DC - Shack Your Foundations

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Well this is going to be my last LJ entry for around 4 days so i may aswell keep you up to date with what little things have happened to me over the past few days. Actually come to think of it... not alot has really happened. I've not managed to talk to that many people through this week, although skiesfirepaved has been her usual ammusing self =P And i did have an ammusing talk with over_my_head_x

As you could tell i've gone through yet another low spell but i seem to of gotten over that now, thanks for the comments people, that helped me alot. Plus the fact that i'll be going to Centre Parks tomorrow is also exciting =D Hopefully this time it'll be somewhat more interesting then last time, atleast i'll know a handful of people =) Hopefully by the end of the trip i'll have a small collection of good photos to add to my DA account.

Plans for this month

Photoshoots - Well hopefully. Assuming the weathers good, the ladies are available and actually willing to do it =\ I'll need to talk to them once i get back from C.P, and i need to buy a bloody diary! That will help me book these things easier lol.

Equipment - I've been looking online at the cost of some of the other equipment available for photographers and I believe i've found the next thing for me to buy.

It's called a "Curtain Background Support System" which will allow curtains and materials to be draped over the bar and give specific backgrounds to the photos being taken =) I was thinking with Black and White materials i can do some really professional looking portrait shots. Although i'll need to also buy a Stool and possibly some lighting. But this will be a start i think ^_^

That's about all i have planned for now. I really want to do some more photoshoots soon since its such fun to do =) But if i cant then it doesn't really matter, like i said it's totally down to the models ^_^

Hopefully i'll be able to talk to you all this evening but if not i shall chat to you all on Monday or Tuesday

Current Location: The Shack
Current Mood: busy busy
Current Music: Freddie Mercury - She Blows Hot and Cold

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Well if you can remember i have been on a high ever since last saturday with the help of the lovely skiesfirepaved being a wonderful model. The problem is that not i've had the taste of a successful photoshoot (such as that was) i want to more! and MORE AND MORE!!! *foams at the mouth*. I just miss the excitement of it, just having someone willing to actually model for me has given me such a boost, and to think that it could also be the assistance they need to go into modeling part-time just makes me glow with happyness...

    However, with all the highs there's always lows. As of this evening i feel personally lost. Not concerning creativity and work etc. but i feel like i'm still missing something. I think i know what that is but to be honest i feel i don't need it, especially since everything is going so well. It's just that i can be impatient waiting for someone special to come along into my life, and im not exactly the sort of person to go out and find them myself. Its just seeing happy couples such as pinkkatie86 + Lewis , [info]skiesfirepavedsoadboy and the_serpent_son + Nic just makes me feel lonely sometimes. I am happy for all of them truely i am, i just wish that i had someone myself. But then i think back to Debs and in many ways i'm pleased im single again. But thats only cause its her...
    Thats another reason why i miss not having any photoshoots, it makes me feel like i am wanted and appreciated. Having that mutual model/photographer respect really seemed to boost me. The fact that Sari, Fee and Katie are so willing to model for me makes me feel like im not useless. But now its going to be nearly 2 weeks or more till the next shoot, it make me feel down again. In many ways i guess it could be classed as a drug.

Anyway thats enough emoness for now i guess.

P.S I've now figured out how to do those hyperlinks to other peoples LJ's =D

Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: Queen - It's a Hard Life

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Well i know that this photo shoot that i had yesterday has probably be broadcast to death... but guess what... i dont care! =D It turned out soo well i am on a high and nothing can bring me down at this point, apart from the fact that i'm not going to be able to do any more portrait photos for over a week! =o

Well yesterday started pretty bag, what with the fact that it was pissing down with rain. I was on the way to the Co-Op when i missed a phone call from Sari, which i assumed was either 1) She's cancelled the shoot 2) She had arrived early. Thankfully it was the latter and so we made our way up to Aversley Woods... very slowly XD
The route up was totally waterlogged and so we had to take our time and try not to slip over, especially Sari , cause if she fell that would be a quick finish to the photo shoot >.< BUT we go there in one piece and everything went really well whilst we were in the woods =) The sun even came out briefly =p

Skipping the part in which i feel over in the mud, we went back (around 12 o'clock) and had some fried goodness lol. Once i saw Sari get on the bus i went home got cleaned up and just relaxed in the bath (which i desperatly needed XD). I managed to send a small handful of the photos to Sari last night before she went babysitting and im so pleased that she liked them, that was the main worry for me since this photo shoot was for her benifit more than mine. And atleast i know trapesing through all that mud, getting cut and bruised was worth it =)

Next Friday i leave for Centre Parks and hopefully i'll come back with some more photo =D And then after that i can organise MORE photo shoots =D Hopefully with Fee, Katie, Sari and Sari's friend Becca =D

Current Location: England
Current Music: Roger Taylor - A Nation Of Haircuts

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Well Sari had this game on her LJ so i asked her to interview me. Here are the questions and the answers to them =)

1. When you're a famous photographer of gothic models, which celebrity would you MOST like to do a shoot with?
Mmmm It will have to be one of two... Emilie Autumn (Mmmmmm need i say more?), Dani Filth (only cause i think he'd be interesting to photograph. I STILL hate his music XD). No other "Celebrity" is interesting enough really... although i'd like to me Anthony Hopkins XD

2. If you could offer one piece of advice to anyone recently diagnosed with cancer, what would it be?
You don't have to be positive throughout your treatment, but you DO have to stay optimistic. Just remember, you can get back to normality once treatment has finished =)

3. You pick up your guitar and a genie pops out, granting three wishes; what do you ask for (no, you can't ask for more wishes!)?
Wish 1 - The ability to play ANYTHING on the guitar (or keyboard)
Wish 2 - My own photography studio (with all the trimmings such as lights, reflectors, backdrops and a coffee machine XD)
Wish 3 - The ability for me to live a long, interesting and productive life (although this wish will probably not be allowed)

4. So you've just spent all that time collecting rare Beatles songs ... what's your favourite track, and why?

I think it has to be the early takes of "Lady Madonna" and "Hard Days Night". They are both catchy songs but its also hilarious listening to the studio talk, laughing and extra track bits that were never released in the final versions...

5. What book would you like to live inside?
Mmm is there a book about Emilie Autumn? If so that! XD XD
But seriously, i've not read a large amount of books, but the one i'd love to live inside out of them all is The Hitch Hiker Guide To The Galaxy (gosh!). Its just such a hilarious book, and Doglas Adams was a master as balancing humor with serious situations. Just a legendary series of books =)

I guess i'd better jump on the band wagon. Comment me with "Interview Me" and i'll come up with some questions for you =)

Current Mood: cheerful cheerful
Current Music: Queen - Under Pressure

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Well as you can see, there was a mildly ammusing situation during my last post... glad thats all sorted and the air is clear now =p Anyway back to more important things... hmmm....

Not too much to report really, just the usual "Had another Driving Lesson" and "Taken some photos" etc. Although i've been going out and about a bit. Getting some bits from town and just generally walking around with my brother. Being 20 isn't really any more interesting than being any other age >.<

However i have the wonderful Centre Parks trip comming up, which has now been all booked and sorted etc, which i am soooo looking forward to =D Just think, fun, games, alcohol, free food and possible girls (not that i'd have a chance at that sort of thing XD). I'll be seeing a handful of people i knew from the last trip too =) So i WILL know some of the people there, and if im allowed to take my Tri-Pod there should be some lovely photos available when i get back =D

Finally I would like to make a small entry for a friend of mine today:

    For the past 5 or so months i've been talking to this lady (Nickname Tibs) both me and my brother know from the Gatwick Region in the UK. Her mum had cancer of the liver, and it had gotten quite far gone in its development. She had just recently (shortly after my 2nd lot of treatment started) started chemotherapy in order for a last attempt to cure the cancer, all was going well until about 2 weeks ago when she started having serious problems with the tumor and as a result the Doctors could no longer do anything more for her =( She die on monday in her sleep.
    During this period i spoke to both Tibs and her mum and offered them as much information about cancer, chemotherapy and what we had to do to get things sorted at the hospital. Also offer as much encoragement and optimistic thoughts as i could to comfort them both and reassure them... but it seems it was all in vein. Im just sad that the treatment didn't work out in a more positive way =( So thats two older friends i've lost through cancer now. I still talk to Tibs but i can't help but feel like i didn't do enough for her in some way...

A somewhat more depressing note to end the entry on but i thought i'd should do it none the less...

Current Location: The Shack!!!
Current Mood: mellow mellow
Current Music: Genesis - Paperlate

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Well thats it... i've now reached the big 20. It's just taken me about 3 months longer than Sari and Katie XD Just thinking about it make me feel old, especially if you look at it, i've lived for 2 decades now and i'm on my 3rd decade o_o
In similar news it also snowed (fairly heavily) on my birthday... i dunno if this is a sign of somesort, or i've grown the ability to magic snow out of thin air at will XD As a result i went out (dragging my mum) and took some really good snow snaps to add to my Deviant Art Account =D That, coinsidently, is doing pretty well =)

Other then that really i've not been able to do anything too exciting. Oh apart from putting together several Rarities archives for various band i love =) Currently completed are the Pink Floyd and Beatles ones, and im working on the Queen one as we speak. Other Archives planned atm are Lez Zeppelin and Genesis ones (all on a DVD each). These contain as much rare stuff as i can get online, such as Alternate Version, Demo, B-Sides, Hard To Find Tracks, Sessions etc. These all seem to be comming on quite nicely atm =)

Driving Lessons seem to be going well atm too. I had my first lesson for over a month with Kim the other week and it seemed quite weird getting behind the wheel again. But it generally all came flooding back. We've been going over alot of the manuvers that we've done before just so i get the hang of them and don't forget anything. Last Wednesday we re-did bay parking over at Tesco's Hampton, which was a piece of piss =P

I have the joy of Centre Parks to come at the beginning of March! 2nd time in a lifetime, how lucky am I? =p But i've just filled in the final consent form and sent that off today so all should be well... i still need to email Jo to let her know i'll be picked up at Bar Hill. Also i have some queries about whether or not i can take my Tri-Pod, which i hope i can since there are going to be no-end of Photo opportunities there, so it would be good if i can squeeze that in ^_^

So it seems like all the fun will start at the beginning of next month. That just leaves all this free time to do nothing 0_o Or find something to do. You see its at time like this i wish i was in a good relationship, that way i could spoil my GF and we could both go out and about together. Or even friends that didn't have Uni, Work or "other" obligations. I used to do a fair amount of this with Debs but ever since the beginning of the year she's given me the "silent" treatment and given the excuse that "i run out of things to talk about" which is bull since everyone else manages to string together a full conversation... its things like that that still really grind on me. This so called "Love of her life" she's now with obviously is far more important then anything she built with other people...

I dunno, have i lost alot of my appeal since i finished my treatment or something? =\

Anyway that's that...

Special Mention of this month: Katie... for just completely Rockin' (Moooooonk!) and Sari for her NEW Job and her insistant hatred of me =p

Current Mood: blah blah
Current Music: Queen - I'm Going Slightly Mad

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Well what can i say? The past 2 days were just brilliant... It definatly cheered me up ^_^ Not only did Ash come down and stay round we all went to the pub Saturday Evening =D That was just a great night, a total of 8 people showed up and it was a fun packed night... in a drunken/nutty sort of way XD
    Like usual i had my quiet moments, and moments which i felt somewhat... "huh?" But it has to be the most involved Pubbage i've been part of. And In some wierd twisted way i also enjoyed Steph being there XD Also this pubbage was my first time i had alcamahol for the first time in 6 months! 3 Pints of strongbow was pretty good going me thinks ^_^ Also i proved that i can kick Ash's area on Time Splitters 3 =p Richard 1 Ash 0 MWHAHAHA!!

Other news... Nothing! lol i just had such a good time this past few days i thought i'd have a dedicated entry for it =D

Love: Katie, Sari, Loz and even Steph to a point XD
Man Hugs: Ash and Rob


Current Mood: hyper hyper
Current Music: Queen - Spread Your Wings

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